Tag Archives: fear

Bad Weeks and Blessings

Man, it has been a bad week. And a blessed one. After a really big show over the weekend, The Fog descended on Monday and I’ve mostly been in my pink fuzzy robe, pondering the universe. Or my toes. My behavior became like that of an animal in the wild – hiding out, not wanting others to see the weakness, the humanness, the mess. This time, it came to me to reach out for help. Even though Dogbert was on my shoulder. The comic strip character from “Dilbert” that is. This episode features Dogbert giving time-management advice to the Boss:

Helpful, huh? Unfortunately, doing everything on both lists is my usual motto. I came up as the middle layer in a sandwich of successful sisters. Even though I am utterly different, it does not always occur to me that this can be a good thing. They have high-powered careers. I am an artist at heart, and a fledgling entrepreneur. They do both lists.

Feeling better this afternoon, I looked for my friend Lisa Zimmerman’s helpful newsletter. Lisa writes newsletters to me. She just happens to send them out to her entire mailing list. Seven days ago she emailed this. Read it slowly, for the words today helped me and maybe they will comfort you, too, if you need it.

Dear Nancy, (See, I told you she writes for me)

During the coming week Mercury will turn to go Direct. This creates new openings and opportunities for forward movement and new info to be revealed, which is always a beautiful thing 🙂

In the spirit of personal growth and evolution, I’d like to share another teaching I discovered when I was in ministerial training at One Spirit Interfaith Seminary.
This piece was written in 1927 by American writer, Max Ehrmann. It’s called Desiderata, which means “desired things.” It’s as relevant now as it always was. Enjoy.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere, life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrender the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive It to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


© 2012 Lisa E. Zimmerman. All rights reserved.
To use any or all of this newsletter, please include this exactly:
Lisa Zimmerman is an Intuitive Astrologer & Transformational Consultant who helps people discover who they came here to be, transcend obstacles, and step into their power. Get your Free subscription to her ezine: SoulLevelSolutions.com.

Thank you, Lisa.

This wasn’t  the only blessing I got this week. It’s the one, though, that inspired me to write this post. Blessings also arrived in the form of my partner Wug’s patience and sensitivity. And from Krista Bermeo, in the form of a cupcake with a pink ballerina. And from Paul d’Andrea for the wonderful photography that I needed and Wug asked you to do for me (pics coming soon!)  Thank you all for my blessed week.

Pink Ballerina

My Super Bowl XLVI Zipline Experience

This is a follow-up post from a couple of days ago. My plan was to face my fear of high places by heading to the Super Bowl Village in downtown Indy and experiencing the zipline: eight stories above ground level, you harness up and fly into the ether, tethered to a thin steel wire. 
Event day, pretty calm. Standing in line for an hour and a half, calm. Signing the waiver, calm. Getting the helmet and harness on. Calm. Eight-story steel stairway? Calm makes hasty exit. Eyes riveted to those horrid, hole-punched steel treads, my fingers unconsciously curled a death grip around the handrail. With each step, my body grew heavier, slower. I started chanting to God. People passed me. KIDS passed me. Halfway up, Wug put his hand on my back, and said, “are you gonna make it, honey?”

Flash back to a 1960’s family vacation at Mammoth Cave National Park. My family had reached the end of the cave tour, and it was time to exit via a metal staircase strategically located over what was touted as a “bottomless pit.” At six years old, I believed them. As an evil bonus, the steel stair treads had holes in them, and the railings were covered in condensation. My mom was carrying my little sister in one arm and holding my big sister’s hand. With no immediate hand to hold, I slipped.
Back to 2012. Fear had wound it’s tendrils from an unexpected place, and unwittingly revealed it’s roots. Thankfully, it didn’t stop me. Gratefully, the platform was ahead, and a kind young woman expertly hooked me to the cable and led me to the edge.
Airborne, weightless, all fear gone, the rush of wind propelled me through the sunshine, over the people below. The line spun me, and I kicked myself around, like a kid on a swing, screaming and whooping for the sheer joy of it. In 30 seconds, it was over. The guys at the end of the line hauled me to the platform and unshackled me. They asked, did I like it?
Seconds later, Wug joined me. Divested of our safety gear, we enjoyed the rest of our day hand in hand. Over burgers and beer, he heard the childhood Mammoth Cave story. No wonder, he said. At the conclusion of our perfect day, we were rewarded with a gorgeous sunset from the 11th floor of the parking garage where our car was parked.
Later that evening, a phone call to my parents brought us all back to that moment in Mammoth Cave National Park. They remembered that day pretty much the same way, and they were scared, too. When I told my dad about my stairwell trip that afternoon, and the zipline, he chuckled and said, “To each his own.”

Super Bowl XLVI Zipline and Fear

In following the creative path, there are many opportunities to face fears. Usually they have to do with paying bills, meeting deadlines, and fulfilling the hopes and wishes of others. But up at the top of a ladder propped at the apex of the garage next to my childhood home, I discovered a fear most powerful: the fear of heights.

Each fear represents a block to our true beauty, the inner spiritual being. The Dream Book: Symbols for Self Understanding by Betty Bethards.

No matter how many times this fear has been confronted, still it returns. To chip away at this terror habit, I decided to sign up for the zip line ride in Super Bowl Village here in downtown Indianapolis. This has taken some planning, and couldn’t wait until the last minute. The tickets have been pinned to the fridge for weeks now, simmering. Today at 3:00 PM EST, my dear Wug and I will be in line to face the demon. Holding his hand will divide the fear factor by two.

Why am I telling you this now? To add humiliation to the mix in case I chicken out. To give me incentive not to. Chicken out. So watch this space for some evidence that I have either succeeded or failed.
Please tell me I’m not the only one with fears, that I am not alone in this. Your brave comments are endearing to me and empowering to others.
P.S. Are those all guys in the photo?