Did you know that you can run over a dog and not kill it? In my teenage years, this happening created what is now known as Big Event Panic (BEP). On this blog, anyway.
We all have qualities and quirks that change with time. Having your head in the clouds, or being the straight-A student, or the little actress. Many of those early qualities fade while some develop into odd conditions, following us doggedly through the decades, popping up now and then just to exert their will over our humanity.
After a recent Big Event Panic (too fresh to share), my mind traveled back, back, back to my 18-year old self as a passenger in my mother’s car, on my way to a parade in which I was to appear. My brainpan was racing because we were running late and Grandma still had to be picked up. That’s when my mom ran over the dog, and I completely lost it. Grabbed hold of the dashboard and screamed at the top of my lungs MOM-YOU-JUST-HIT-A-DOG! STOP! While my dear sweet mom kept on driving, responding with, “He just ran out the other side of the car.â€
Utterly powerless, I sat in the passenger seat with my crown, sash and tearstained face while the destination approached, panic turning to defeat. You might wonder about that dog. He likely went on to chase many a future hubcap while I sat on the stupid Corvette, waving and throwing Dubble Bubble Bubble Gum to the to the crowd with a pasted-on smile.
A special occasion, an important event, especially one that requires A)fancy clothes B)being on time C)the help of others to pull off are warning flags that panic might ensue. The true evil genius of the quirk, though, is that it occurs infrequently enough to make you forget the tragic low points of your panic-crazed outbursts.
The recent re-panic has made me reflect deeply on this condition, breaking it down into little parts in an effort to shed light on the issue and gather weaponry enough to fend off the next BEP outbreak.
A) Fancy clothes? Plan ahead. Find out what’s proper head-to-toe and beg, borrow, Goodwill or recreate from existing clothing. Check ahead for cleanliness, hole-lessness and fit.  Jewelry for the outfit – got that covered. Be ready to look right and shoot that princess wave. That wasn’t my problem this time, but it has been in the past.
B) Being on time? Plan ahead. That may mean being ready two or three hours in advance! Envision an elegant heads-up entrance despite slow traffic, getting lost, AND stopping at CVS for tampons. Notice I did NOT say running over a dog because that would not happen if you allowed three extra hours to get there.
C)The help of others? Plan ahead. Asking for help is just the worst possible task sometimes. But done early, it can save grief and possibly a friendship. In case you are wondering, my mom and I are still good friends, she is an animal lover and all-around lovely human being.
If you have any more Big Event Panic prevention tips, I’m all ears. My problems usually run into categories B & C. If you can help with tips and tricks of your own, you just might be doing someone a big favor out there. Like me!